A friendship made, a friendship lost.

Today I am sharing a blog written by my beautiful friend, Mia. We share many of the same emotions in this situation but she put it much nicer and classier than I would have ;) I will not use names (although everyone who knows this person knows how he turned out because chances are he burned them too) but I am forever grateful we knew each other in the first place for it is through him I met Mia. I will never fully understand why or how we could be so disposable to him and why he didn't seem to value our friendship in the way I did. The woman he is marrying must wear many hats and wear them well because she seemingly fills the void of all of his closest friends along with the HUGE support of volunteers he had around him, at his fingertips, at all times to help as soon as he needed something. I have my doubts, I think we all do, but lets hope for his sake she does. I fear the day will come he will need someone or something but will have burned all the bridges and no one will be there for him. Except when I think about it that will never happen because these people he wronged don't believe in turning their backs. They are all amazing, stand up people who would still drop everything to be there for him and its sad to think the two of them were okay with mistreating and taking advantage of people with the biggest hearts.

I remember when we first met him at the hospital. He and his story instantly tugged at my heart and I couldn't stop thinking about him. Shortly after he went to a nearby bar for the Operation Calendar signing where they wouldn't let him in because he was only 20 years old. I couldn't help but think how bizarre that was. Here is a kid, a 20 year old, not old enough to go into a bar but old enough to be sent to war, to take an IED for his country, old enough to be missing 3 limbs but not old enough to buy a drink. It is really insane when you really think about that and that truly represents so many of these amazing men I am blessed to call friends. They are all just babies-or were-when they were injured. Anyways, we became friends pretty quickly through lots of texting and events at the hospital or other events. It wasn't long before he was coming to family parties and pool parties, freaking my Grandma out as he jumped out of his chair, wiggled himself to the edge of the pool then fell in, only to resurface to Grandma laughing and breathing a deep sigh of relief. We all loved him. His personality, his determination, his joking, his don't feel bad for me attitude, the way he made fun of us and made fun of himself, the way he explained his injuries to my nephews, the way he let my nanny babies play with his "robot" hand. Not having family around, we were bound to step in and make sure he was always included, always felt like a part of our family and that he was never alone. We did and he reciprocated and all was good. Until it wasn't. And it was news to me. And all those around me. We were thrilled for him to be happy and have someone who loved him until petty things started showing up out of nowhere and the communication and texting was less and less and forget about showing up to a family party, that was out of the question. And then one day in a moment of honesty talking to who I thought was a friend, someone I thought I could be honest with and hold accountable for his inexcusable behavior, I learned very quickly I wasn't allowed to. That was all it took to set him her off. Just like that I got the boot and so did Pam because apparently we are the same person. It was almost as if she was lurking, just waiting for the one small excuse to step in and demand we are no longer friends. I did nothing wrong. I simply told him the way he was treating others is not okay because it wasn't and she sat by and allowed him to turn into a mean, cruel, entitled person he wasn't so when I saw it and said something to try to hold him accountable for his actions, that wasn't okay. Not in her books at least. So just as I had watched him push other friends away and thought how it wouldn't happen to us, it did. We were suddenly on the outskirts with about a bajillion others wondering what the heck happened. I am sad, disappointed, hurt, confused. I should say I was. I was bummed out and missing him. Until he took this turn for the worse and became someone I didn't even know, someone I am ashamed to call a friend. He truly had us fooled. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe he was who we all thought he was but the addition of his lady turned him. I'm not sure what to think or believe. I look back and think we were friends, I trusted him. I know Mia and Pam did as well. I don't know if we were all so off and couldn't see the real him, if he did a really good job getting close to us and hiding his agenda or if he was who we all thought he was but then changed. Either way the person he is now is such a disappointment. I had such high hopes for his future, I knew we would be friends for many many years to come and I couldn't wait to look back on the days of when we first met. I couldn't wait to see his progress, to look back at how he went from learning to walk on his new legs to getting down his running legs to figuring out his arm to getting a new hand to play video games with. He was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, he couldn't wait to hold my sweet girl and watch her grow up. He joked about spanking her with his "chicken wing" nub when she was naughty and racing her around in his chair yet...he's never even held her. He lived just a few miles from the hospital where I had her and never even came to visit. And that was BEFORE our falling out! It makes me sad, I miss the old him. I hope he still has the support he needs around him. I know he pushed soooo many away so its hard to think he does and that is sad. I wish the best for him and his future and I only wish things would have turned out differently for us.


And as for Mia. I am so thankful he brought us to her. Mia, you are a breath of fresh air. I can not tell you how refreshing it is to have a friend who has such a huge heart like you do. It is so nice to have someone around our age who cars to be involved, who cares to give back and volunteer and be there for the guys. You are so giving and so generous to everyone you meet. You would give the shirt off your back to a stranger and something tells me you probably already have! I am so blessed to call you a friend. I hate what he has done to you and how far they have taken it but that only speaks volumes about them and says nothing about you. You are an angel walking on earth and have been such a blessing in my life as well as all of the injured guys you have met. I love you to pieces, lady!!!






I said I wasn't going to say much but I got to typing and couldn't stop! Here is Mia's blog I mentioned before.

Friday, March 21, 2014
It's Not About the Journey, It's About the Lessons Learned.
No matter how, where, or when you grew up ; there's one common factor, a single lesson that we've all heard and subsequently ignored. As people, I can only assume we are genetically inclined to think naively and when told, "People aren't always what they seem to be," because we always think we've found the exception. And, in most cases... we're sadly mistaken. And when it realizes itself to you, you can't help but cringe at the pain and deceit you're suddenly bombarded with. 

For some of us, these people are our significant others and for some, like myself, it's a friend. Even worse: A best friend. Best friends are arguably the glue to our very being. Well, that's what happened to me. My "best and truest friend" turned out to be nothing more than a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

Betrayal never gets any easier. Especially, not this one. I smile and say all the right things but in the privacy of my own blog I feel, it's my right, to express how I really feel. And, I hope if you ever read this, I hope you know how painfully HONEST this is. 

***

You are a Fraud. Nothing more. You conned me into this "friendship," filled my mind and heart with lies and attempted to strip me from the greatest moments of joy I've ever been blessed with. All for your own selfish agenda. 

I did everything for you, literally. I fed you, bathed you, carried you, talked to you, drove down to see you at 2AM on several occasions because you were having a bad night. You were supposed to be my best friend.  

I got married, without you there. Without even SPEAKING to each other. You're getting married. I found out through Social Media and mutual friends. You were supposed to be my "maid of honor" and I committed to wearing a tux when I was your "best man." Now, we've started these new chapters of our lives and don't even speak. 

Remember when we planned on having kids together and living by each other so they could grow up together and get married? Remember when my mom would get up in the early mornings to take you to go to the bathroom? Don't you remember all the times I dropped everything to be there for you when you needed someone to travel with you, or take you to an event? 

Out of all the "breakups" I've had in my life with friends I can undoubtedly say... this was the worst. By Far. If you wanted to hurt me, to get back at me for finding happiness : You did. Far beyond your comprehension, I'm sure. 

How could you lie to me about all of those things? Why did you feel the need to elaborate on things that you didn't have too. You are a hero and I hope you have all the happiness in the world because of what you sacrificed for our country, but I don't think I could ever look you in the eyes.  

You turned stories around, you made up stories and now... you're doing everything in your power to ruin my life. Is it out of spite? Is it who you really are? Did you really fool me, and so many others? How could this even be possible. I just can't wrap my mind around this.

So many times, I still think that I need to call and tell you about something that happened... but then it all sets back in. I'm not allowed in your life anymore. And while I'm bitter that you would allow someone to break you away from ALL of your truest friends, what really gets me... what really kills me, is that you've now willingly committed to a hatred and malicious campaign against me. 

I hope you know, you've been the biggest disappointment in my life. I hope you know, you gave me the biggest blessings in my life. Not only do I have a new found understanding of life and myself... but you've given me the MOST wonderful people that I've ever met. And now, I'd like to let you know all the wonderful things that came from all of this... 

First and foremost: My amazing husband, Ethan.
      I am so glad that we held hands that first night. I was truly sold the moment I saw you. I couldn't ask for a better partner in life or a truer best friend. I am honestly honored to be your wife and live this beautiful life alongside of you. You've made all of this pain completely worth it and I'd live it all over again, one hundred times over knowing it would lead me to you... My heart beats for you and your love is the fuel to my life. Thank you for being my husband, my rock, and my shoulder. But most of all, thank you for being you. 

My Twins: I couldn't ask for a better set of best friends. You both love me unconditionally and have stood by my side through all of this. Angels in true form you both are, each one in your own and unique ways. 
    Pammy: Through about 300 hours of talking about everything and anything we've been able to build a friendship that is truly unbreakable. You've taught me a lot about people, and more about myself. You're such a strong and *independent* woman, and I admire you from the bottom of my heart. 
   Dej: From dancing crazily at a Marine Corps. Ball to holding your precious angel in my arms, it's safe to say you're one of the most wonderful women I have ever met. That compounded with our obsession with Pits and all things furry, we're quite the pair. You're a blessing in everyone's life, and touch all you meet. You sure have touched my heart in such wonderful and tender places. 
But in all seriousness, please teach me how to swim before I die at your house. 
The Barrons: Both of you are such wonderful and unique people. I love your passions for life and your continued strides for a prosperous future. You inspire me so much, each in such different ways. I can't tell you how happy I am that we've been able to build a friendship with one another. I don't think I have met a pair of more strong willed and courageous people in my life. I wish you both the best in all of your endeavors and want you each to know how EXTREMELY proud I am of both of you. 

Monique Morales: Girlie, you are just incredible. I love how much we always laugh together and I am sure glad that the government has not been listening into all of our phone calls... (if they were, I'm sure we would have been droned alongggg time ago) You're story is beyond belief and your strength is beyond words. You're like a big sister to me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your friendship and I hope you know how much I love you! 



And to all my friends at Warrior Foundation - Freedom Station I can't express my gratitude for the relationships you have all brought into my life. You guys are my light on my darkest of days and my hope in desperation. Thank you for being the most wonderful and uplifting people I have ever met. My life has changed forever because of you and I am eternally grateful. You each have made me who I am and I love you all so dearly.  I consider you each a part of my family and am so honored to be in each of your lives.

With Special Recognition To: Sandy Lehmkuler, Boli Flores, Timothy Read, Lan Anh, Povas Miknaitis, Juan Cano



 Thank ALL of you for making my journey worth it.